M.I.A.

So I went missing there for awhile. Not even really sure why I stopped blogging. I think the episode of Family Guy where they are discussing the Godfather explains it best:

Lois: Explain yourself, what didn’t you like about it?
Peter: It insists upon itself, Lois.
Lois: What?
Peter: It insists upon itself.
Lois: What does that even mean?
Chris: Cause it has a valid point to make, it’s insistent!
Peter: Cause it takes forever getting in, and you spend, you spend like six and a half hours, and then, you - I can’t even get through, I haven’t even seen the ending.

I love Peter.

So I grew disillusioned with the whole thing (blogging, not my wedding, still super "illusioned" about that) but now I'm getting interested again. Aren't you excited!?? No, no, I know no one really cares about our wedding as much as I'd like to think they do.  Underneath all my crazed optimism lurks a secret realist.

So let's see...what new wedding details do I have to share? Hmmmm. Well since we are doing a destination wedding I won't have to take care of most of the details until we are there. Like picking out my flowers, menu selection, cake, etc. I'm still 110% happy about our decision to do our wedding this way. I'm a procrastinator that hates worrisome little details. I do much better with fewer options, making quick snap judgements when in a time crunch.  But after some not-so-subtle urging from my concerned bridesmaids I realized there are just some things that I have to take care of before we leave for the trip.  The bridesmaid's dresses for example!  I finally decided on a dress for them. Its aqua blue, chiffon, knee length, strapless with a sweetheart neckline. Very beachy. Oh and my bridesmaid line up includes: Megan Meyer, Laura Gilbert, Jackie Joest and Stephanie Drennen. I wasn't born with any sisters but I look at them as the sisters I never had.  The old saying "friends are the family you that you get to choose" is so true. They are my sisters who love me and support me and don't buy my bullshit. I laugh with them and cry with them and make fun of life with them. These girls are my heart and soul and I'm so happy that they will be standing with me on the beach as I make the biggest promise in the world to the man I love.  Alright, lets get back to the dresses before I get all emotional and misty eyed. I'm a self proclaimed non-crier but lately I'm like waterworks central.  I'm just so happy I can't help it. I feel so fing lucky to have all these amazing people in my life. I still don't know what I did to deserve John's all encompassing love and undying devotion.  Ok, the dresses, Tina, the dresses. Stay focused. The next thing I need to figure out are shoes for them and accessories.  I'm thinking thong sling back flats in either gold or silver. NO clue about accessories yet! I'm going to go to Macy's tomorrow to hopefully get some ideas. Trolling the internet for inspiration has proved unsuccessful.  Ew and Wednesday my mom and I have a date to get my veil! Super excited for the veil as I don't have to starve myself in order to look good in it :) Also this week going groom suit shopping with John. Ugh he is going to be so frigging handsome I can't stand it. I could just stare at him all day. I could smell him all day too, it must be a chemical thing. Wow, I'm saying a lot of things right now. Am I drunk? Ok no, I just checked my drink, no alcohol. Just the musings of a crazy in love bride-to-be. Ahhh young love.

I think that about wraps it up for now. As far as my regular non-wedding life, everything is great. The summer has been a blur of sunny, hot weather, drinks on patios and lounging by the pool.  Hope everyone else is also having an amazingly sweaty summer!

Love,
Tina

Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

We had a rough couple of days last week. My mom was just in the hospital last Tuesday for the first of two reconstructive surgeries she'll have for her leaking implants that she got back in the mid 80's due to her battle with breast cancer. Fortuantely she's still in remission! But I feel so bad that she has to go through more pain even now almost 25 years later. Seeing people I love in pain kills me. When they hurt, I feel the hurt too. She made it through this initial procedure wonderfully and there were no complications during surgery. Unfortunately, she gets very sick from anesthesia so that was pretty brutal for her. Also a little brutal for me, I'm one of those people that gets sick if I hear other people getting sick, but surprisingly I managed just fine. I guess when it comes down to it, you just do what you have to do. John and I stayed with her overnight to be there to check on her and make sure she was OK. Everything went as well as expected except for the fact that it rained terribly and Mom has a doggy door and our family dog Shelby must have found a nice big mud puddle to play in because when we woke up mud was tracked throughout the entire house. I mean everywhere. She found every available piece of carpeting to walk on. So while keeping an eye on Mom we also worked on cleaning the carpets and then of course we had to give Shelby a bath as well. I'll admit to a couple of frustrated tears while scrubbing the floor. Dirty carpets apparently make me sad and angry.

So after an exhausting day of playing nurse and cleaning crew we excused ourselves to go home and shower and grab a bite to eat. The showers perked us up and then we went to eat at one of our favorite places, Gengis Grill. Mmmmm Mongolian stir fry. We had just been brought our food when John gets a call from his step dad. His mom had just gotten home from work and found their family dog Annie had died sometime during the day in her crate. The look on John's face broke my heart. We immediately got our check and raced over to his parent's house. His mom was outside sobbing. Seeing her and John cry broke my heart even more. We went inside to see Annie. She looked like she passed away in her sleep. No signs of being sick or any kind of physical distress. She wasn't even 2 years old yet. Even writing about this now makes me want to cry again. His step dad got home and we all got Annie ready to take to the animal hospital. Tests were requested to determine her mysterious cause of death. Sadly, it turned out to be a heart condition that no one knew about. So at the animal hospital we said our final good-byes to Annie. She was a chocolate lab/border collie mix and she was the happiest puppy dog ever. She will be missed so very much.

With our hearts dragging on the floor we finally got home around 9 o'clock. We stood in the kitchen in exhausted amazement of the past 48 hours. We looked at each other and thanked each other for being there and being so supportive to one another. I really don't know what I would do without John. His love and support is like a constant flow of oxygen to me. I don't have to ask for his help when I need it. He is just there already helping in his huge and quiet way. And I am there for him just as fully. I feel so blessed that this incredible man wants me to be his wife and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Even when you have a really shitty day love makes everything better.

Glass Green Strawberry Passion

Sooooo we've made some progress! First of all we decided on our wedding package, its called Strawberry Passion. Oo la la. We ended up going with the slightly more expensive private beach dinner. I know, I know, but my mom brought up a good point when she said we should give all of our guests the nicest evening possible in order to show our appreciation for them coming all that way to be with us on the Big Day. When the lady's right, she's right. Also, we would have ended up spending about the same amount of money had we gone with the cheaper package. It was pretty bare bones and after we included the essentials (like a minister!) it ended up being roughly the same cost. So decision is made, check! Here are all of the lovely details included in our package:

- Premium wristband for bride and groom
- Decorated seaside wedding location
- Special Amenities and bottle of sparkling wine sent to the room
- Document arrangements
- Justice of the Peace or Non denominational Minister
- Marriage certificate
- Bridal Bouquet and Groom Boutonniere
- One Tabletop flower arrangement
- 50 minutes Massage for Bride & Groom
- Manicure & pedicure with strawberry essence for the bride
- Make-up and hair style with natural white orchid for the bride
- One-tiered Wedding Cake (for up to 10 people)
- 3 bottles of domestic champagne (for up to 30 people)
- Live Music during the Wedding Ceremony
- 3 Hours Private Served Dinner on the beach with exclusive waiters with set menu
- 3 Hours Open Bar during the reception
- Celebrate your Honeymoon with Champagne Breakfast in bed the next morning
- Late check out until 3:00pm (on request, subject to availability)
- Wedding Coordinator services
- Witnesses if required
- Guaranteed King-size bed.
- Bathrobes and slippers in your room.
- Special decoration in the room and rose petals on the bed
- Special gift courtesy of Barceló Maya Beach Resort

There will be a few more things we are going to add like a mariachi band, a hupa ,and obviously a photographer as well. They are pretty strict about not letting people bring in outside photographers and making you use the resort photographers instead. If you want to bring in your own photographer you have to pay for a couple nights stay for them at the hotel. What a rip off. I think you should, at most, buy a day pass for them. But whatev, we'll make do. I'll give very specific instructions to the resort photogs about what pics we want and then I'm sure our guests will be taking a ton of pics as well.  No worries.

I recently found this picture in a destination wedding magazine. It pretty much captures the essence of what I've been picturing. What the groom is wearing, the white flowers, the color of the bridesmaid dresses and even the gauze wrapped hupa (its exactly like what our resort offers yay)

Which brings me to my next thought, the bridesmaid dresses. When I saw the pic above I fell in love with that shade of green and immediately started an online investigation to find something similiar. Then voila I found a dress I really like by Alfred Angelo. I think the style of the dress is perfect for a beach wedding, its flowing, not clingy, a light chiffon fabric and the color is very beachy. Its called Glass Green but if I could rename it I would call it Sea Foam. Mmmm. Here it is:

                                              

Love it! But nothing is set in stone. I'll run it past the ladies and then check it out in person. For all I know this pretty green color could look like something pulled out of a sewer in person. I'm also open to the girls wearing different dresses but all in the same color. My main objectives are to make sure they feel pretty and above all else feel comfortable. I love these girls too much to make them suffer!

Editor's Note:  I wrote this late last night, a little worn out and tired, and I forgot to mention about the quality of the resort photographers. Some of you may have been wondering why all the fuss about bringing in an outside photographer and its because of the horrible reviews I've read about the resort's company Foto Carribean. Very old school 'posey' pics and I like a more photo journalistic style.  And that's just my picky reason. I've also read that they've shown up late to ceremonies and also lost a couple's pics! Yikes! But I have also read some good reviews, mostly from people who I feel are more laid back about the picture aspect and know that a few good shots are all you need to capture the memory of the day. While I don't want our pics lost or for them to show up late, I do think they should be good enough. I'm hoping the horror stories are just random experiences and not the norm. ps. Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone! In the spirit of our Mexico wedding I shall be enjoying some margaritas later today on the beautiful patio of one of my oldest and dearest friends and his lovely, lovely wife. !Bueno!

Dinner on the Beach is Not a Cocktail, After Saturday I Would Know.......

A few days ago I celebrated my 30th bday. A few days ago I might have added an exclamation point to the end of that sentence. I'm not so excited anymore. Drink, drank, drunk. There wasn't a moment of my bday night that I didn't have a shot in front of me. Usually when out for cocktails I like to feel just a hint of tipsy, a light shading of that warm, fuzzy feeling you get after a couple of drinks. I like to be the boss of me, not booze. I know my limits and I like to stay inside my self-imposed invisible, electric fence.


However.


I decided ahead of time that I wanted to completely throw caution to the wind and really let loose. Its my big 30th bday right? My last opportunity to make a complete fool of myself before 'officially' entering into my adulthood. And boy did I stick to my guns. I set out to do it big and I succeeded. It was a great night, a blur of laughing and giggling and toasting myself. I did have a minor meltdown at midnight and insisted that I needed a moment to be alone but it passed (thanks to Megan and Jackie) and then the laughing, giggling and toasting myself resumed. All of this was a part of my plan. The getting home and telling John I felt sick then promptly throwing up on the floor (and not into the trash can) was NOT a part of my plan. Nor was the waking up the next morning feeling like there was a hatchet buried in my skull or the constant nausea that was like a mean, little, green-colored friend pointing and laughing at me all day. Literally, I pictured this. I must have been hallucintating from the extreme dehydration.


After enough Advil to numb an elephant and enough water to drown myself, I emerged victorious. I survived the night and now I'm 30! OK I guess I'm ready to be excited again. It feels pretty good actually. I love fresh starts. I love new beginnings. And since this is our wedding blog I must mention John and thank him yet again for a wonderful night, for baby-sitting me, and for holding back my hair. Love you schmutzy!


In wedding related news, its time to pick our wedding package. We are currently mulling over having dinner in one of the resort's restaurants (cheaper) or having a private dinner on the beach (not cheaper). The beach dinner looks so lovely in all the pictures I've seen and I'm afraid I've already made up my mind. See?

Its just so darn beautiful. I'm trying to stay money-minded and frugal but a small part of me is saying go-ahead Tina, splurge a little, it is your big day afterall. I mean come on, my feet would be touching sand underneath the dinner table. What's more 'beach wedding' than that? We need to decide asap though so our wedding coordinator with the resort can reserve the space for us.  I love this part of the planning process. If I'm this excited now, I can't wait to see how I'm going to be when it comes time to pick out the flowers. I'm sure John is excited for that part too. :)

My Dream Life

I found this old entry in a journal of mine from a couple years ago. I thought it was so sweet and it makes me happy to know that a lot of what I dreamed about has already happened and a lot more that is just around the corner. Ahhh the dreams of my younger self.......

My Dream Life
We are both making decent money. At least enough to pay the bills and still have a little left over for fun or saving. We'll get engaged and then a little while later get married. All our closest family members and friends will be there and it will be an amazing night. We'll live in a nice place in an affordable area close to work and our family and friends. I'll plant flowers everywhere and you will become a grill expert. I will learn to make the perfect margarita. We will still go out too, for dinner and drinks in the area and downtown for special concerts and ball games. We will never take our friends for granted and always make time for them, but mostly our lives will be about spending time with each other. Not even doing anything spectacular, just living. Doing all of the normal things people sometimes dismiss as not being special. Spending each day taking care of each other. I'll make our home the most welcoming of places and there will always be yummy scents coming from the kitchen. It will be decorated beautifully, reflecting both our tastes. You will have a place to play video games and I will have my space for reading. The spark between us will never fade over time. Eventually our love will create a baby. Boy or girl, you will teach the virtues of patience and honesty and I will teach our child how to see and appreciate the beauty in the world. We will always remain true to each other no matter how life changes around us. Everyday we'll grow to love each other more.

I talk a lot about how happy I am and how much I love John and I know it can get a little syrupy at times, but if there is ever a time to gush about love its now. So yes, its true, I friggin love this guy and I think he is pretty fing amazing! There. That wasn't too nauseating was it?

The 10,000 Dollar Question

So, as some of you may already be aware, Judy, my totally awesome mom, gave us a choice between using $10,000 for a traditional big day (church, reception, etc.) or not having a big wedding and keeping the money. At first the choice was easy for me, bring on the wedding!! I wanted what every girl dreams about: the big dress, the ceremony in the church that my whole family has been married in, the huge reception with delicious food, lots of drinks, and of course dancing. For John the choice was also easy, take the money!! He wanted what every boy dreams about: being debt free, having a little extra in savings, and just feeling more financially secure in general (maybe a new game system too, a new Wii is what I've been hearing a lot from him these days). We went back and forth and contemplated the pros and cons of each scenario and, after many late night chats while consuming wine on our deck, we came up with a perfect solution, getting married in Mexico!! We both really wanted to go on a honeymoon in Mexico but, unfortunately, that wasn't going to be in our budget if we did the bigger wedding at home. With this new plan we can have a beautiful (and cheaper!) wedding, have our honeymoon, and have some money in the bank. BUENO! I literally could not be happier with how things are turning out. This decision we've made feels so right to us. Me, John, the people closest to us, and a beach. Ahhhh, I'm totally blissing out right now just thinking about it. I also think its really cool that we will not just be having a wedding DAY, we'll be having a wedding WEEK. Its going to be great, a week on a beach with everyone we love, tequila poppers, hanging out at the pool bar, margaritas, eating delicious all-inclusive food, modelo beer, dancing in the discotecs, more tequila poppers, doing all the tourist-y things...and then of course our beach wedding! Not too shabby, right? So this puts a whole new spin on the wedding planning process. So far we've made two big decisions. 1. take the money. 2. get married in Riviera Maya, Mexico. Next up on our list is visit with a travel agent this weekend to scope out the best deals. Let the games begin.....

Carrie Bradshaw Breakdown

Remember the Sex and the City episode when Carrie finds the engagement ring in Aiden's duffle bag and then goes and throws up? And then Miranda takes her to try on the tacky wedding dress and she breaks out in hives? Well I'm having a similar reaction. Since we got engaged on Friday night my body has begun rebelling against me. Saturday I had what I can only imagine were food poisoning-like stomach cramps. I've never had food poisoning before but I've heard its just awful. Also, I'm positive I have sprouted a whole new patch of gray hair. I need my roots done BADLY. Yes, I have gray hair, and I've had it since I was 16. I'm not ashamed to admit that but I will be well over 60 before I'm completely comfortable going au natural. However, the worst part of my body's breakdown is hands down the break-outs. I haven't broken out this bad since I was 13. I have one in particular that John and I have started lovingly referring to as My Little Friend, Generalissimo Franco. It is definitely some sort of aggressive military leader marching all over my face shouting angry things in spanish that I can't understand. I waged a war against it last night and think I've won, for now. I wish I felt prettier. This is a time when I should feel like beautiful glowing bride-to-be, not an ugly troll that lives under a bridge. Oh well. I think my body is finally starting to calm down and, thank god, because we are going out to dinner tonight with John's mom and step dad and my mom. Dinner is around 6pm at Chevy's in Ellisville, yay for margs, tequila and chips and salsa!! Really though, tequila makes everything better.

The Proposal

Wow, where to begin? First of all, thank you for checking out my blog! Its going to be all about the blood, sweat, and tears of planning OUR WEDDING. We just got engaged a couple of days ago, so as you can imagine, we haven't really started any of the actual planning yet. I'm still basking in the glow of this huge thing that's happened. Its funny too, because I knew it was coming. You'd think I'd be ready to get down to business. Of course I didn't know exactly how or when he was going to propose, but I knew it was just around the corner. I mean come on, its me we're talking about.  I have to know everything that's going on, all the time. This is also what makes me an excellent stalker. =)

So I knew as soon as a ring was purchased, I'm just that good. Actually, knowing he had a ring was pretty much torture. From that moment on I was constantly wondering when he was going to pop the all important question. I started wearing make up more often and doing my hair instead of letting it air dry 'just in case'. I know, I'm crazy. But I just wanted to be prepared for this huge occasion! As it would turn out, he proposed on Friday, March 26th 2010 around 8:00 pm. I should add that I thought he was going to ask me the day before and when it didn't happen I figured he would, for sure, do it on our next day off together, which wouldn't be until mid next week. We both get home from work and hug and kiss hello. We pour a couple of cocktails and relax and talk for awhile when he tells me he needs to go get some cigarettes. Ugh. I get annoyed. I hate that cigarettes are disrupting the flow of our Friday night happy hour at home. Plus, I knew he'd want me to go with him and it was kind of cold out. Blah. So I start putting up a fight and coming up with every excuse I could think of to get out of going with him (even some things I can't say here!).  He wears me down by agreeing to let me play only my music for the rest of the night. (we have similair taste in music but he is not at all a fan of GaGa, Ke$ha, or Britney, can u believe it?) So we head off to the gas station and as we are pulling up to the entrance of our neighborhood he mentions that they have the fountain in our lake turned on. And I said that I had noticed and commented on how pretty it was. I do love fountains. Then he slows down and pulls up next to the gazebo in front of the fountain. I look at him and say, "Uh what's going on? Are you going to propose or is this some kind of joke?" He says, "Come on let's go up there and look." My heart is beating very fast at this point because this is completely out of character for him. We have lived by this fountain and lake for over a year and we have never gone to the gazebo to appreciate it. So there we are looking out onto the lake and I notice a picture of a penis that someone has drawn on the gazebo. This is hilarious. John has mentioned before I might have the disorder Jonah Hill had in Super Bad. There is nothing funnier than drawings of penises. Well maybe farts are funnier. Or people falling. Anyway, we talk about the penis drawing for awhile and then go back to admiring the fountain. And then all of a sudden I turn to John and he is going down on his knee! I'm thinking, "Omg is this really happening?" and I may have even said that out loud. He has a little blue ring box in his hand and opens it and very simply says, "Christina Dorothea, will you marry me?"  I'm smiling like crazy, trying to absorb everything little thing about this moment, from the penis drawing to the way he's looking up at me, and I say back to him, "Yes, I will marry you!" He puts the most beautiful ring on my finger and we share our first engaged kiss. We stand there for awhile laughing and hugging and kissing, letting it all sink in. He's also teasing me about how damn hard it was to get me to go with him and how I was, unknowingly, trying my hardest to prevent the proposal. We also laughed about the penis drawing and the fact that he actually did still need to go get cigarettes. Ugh. I'm annoyed again... Ha! Just kidding. He could have asked me to do anything with him at that point and I would have happily gone along.

And there it is. Our proposal story. Not traditionally romantic in the way of hotel rooms or fancy dinners, but it was completely 'us'. It was perfectly imperfect. I hope the rest of our lives are filled with funny, happy moments just like this one.