40 Weeks and No End in Sight

My little Super Girl is taking her super sweet time.

 

This is my life lately. Hahaha

 

Soooo at my 39 week check up last week I had not progressed any closer to going into labor. I was still only slightly one centimeter dilated. My cervix, thick and stubborn. I have my 40 week appointment tomorrow and I hope something has changed! People keep telling me that they had not started dilating at all and then wham suddenly they went into labor. The not knowing when its going to happen is killing me. I've also started having dreams about going into labor. This morning I woke up pushing, yikes. So here I am just waiting for the pot to boil. But I guess its ok, the longer she takes the closer we are to warmer weather and spring. Plus, if she waits until the 21st she'll be an Aries like me :)

In the meantime, I've been getting our house in order......

Our pretty home in Ballwin. (Can't wait for everything to be green like this again!)

 

The day we moved in I was 4 months pregnant and hauling boxes like a champ.

 

Things are clean and organized around here and her nursery is finished. We have everything I can possibly think of that we need for our little bambino. My mom and I have become regulars at every store in STL that sells baby things. We have received so many wonderful gifts from family and friends. Being well equipped certainly makes me feel more prepared and in control.

 

Baby stuff, everything is so cute!

 

A family member generously gave us this used Peg Perego car seat and base, but then.....

 

This weekend John's parents gave us our travel system with stroller, car seat and car seat base! So happy we have a second car seat now.  

 

Here is a look at Baby Feager's room:

 

 

 

 

Hopefully she likes lavender.

 

Its all in the details....

 

I've had this mini set of Peter Rabbit books since I was a little girl, so excited to give them to MY little girl.

 

 

 

Tiny, little shoes. I could just die.

 

Our bedroom set up, bassinet on my side of the bed. We will also be bringing down the changing table and bringing in our rocker.

 



Between the bassinet, the crib, the bouncy seat, the swing, and the cradle rocker, we should be able to find something that will help her sleep soundly. Wishful thinking? It will probably be our arms and she will be a ticking time bomb waiting to go off at the slightest noise and movement. Hopefully she quickly gets used to the dogs barking. More wishful thinking.

 

Ok I guess that's it for now. I'm crossing my fingers that I get another good check up tomorrow. Now its about time to make John some dinner and then watch Walking Dead from last night. Its our favorite show and should be yours as well. 

Our Baby

I wanted to make a new blog entry, one last blog entry before everything changes completely for the rest of my life. Our baby is due in just a couple weeks.

Our baby.

Still getting used to saying that. Every time I say it, type it, hear it, think it, I'm overcome with happiness. I smile. Our baby. Our little baby girl.

As I'm typing this I feel her hiccuping. She does this a couple times a day.  I've read that this is normal and a good sign of health and development. I've also read that it can mean she will have reflux issues. Google is my best friend and worst enemy these days. My doctor told me to stay off of Google but late at night when the baby kicks me awake I find myself reaching for my phone and looking up all the things that make me paranoid.

I realize this is a waste of my time so I'll then put down my phone and simply enjoy feeling her moving around inside of me. I have really loved these moments. She is my little buddy, my constant companion, who enjoys meal times as much as I do and loves taking little naps with me as well. We've got a good schedule going right now. Maybe it will stay this way after she's born? All peaceful and serene. Mother Earth and her nature baby.  Haha, I love that I can be this delusional before reality comes crashing in with middle of the night feedings, exploding diapers, and colic.

So I'm 39 weeks now.....

Yay, puffy pregnant face!

My doctor says she will let me go to 41 weeks before inducing. I'd prefer to go into labor naturally, but my mom had to be induced with me as well, so I guess it just might be in the cards for me. To be honest getting up out of chairs is getting harder and I've started waddling a bit.

Ready to pop.

Shaving my legs and painting my toenails is also starting to get more difficult. By 41 weeks I can only imagine I'll be having John do these things for me. Overall though I feel really good. Doc says my weight gain has been great and my blood pressure is great as well (knock on wood). Lots of amniotic fluid, normal growth for baby, good strong heart. That's all I can ask for. Tomorrow I have my 39 week check up, hopefully things are still going well and maybe I've even progressed some. Last week she said I was dilated a slight one. My mom is convinced I'm going to have her this weekend, but I think she's going to have to be evicted by my OB. We shall see.

I'm so excited to meet her. I'm also scared. Will I be a good mother? I'm not scared of childbirth. I'm not scared about lack of sleep or my ability to feed and care for her. I'm scared about helping this little human grow to her furthest potential. I want to nurture her and guide her and help her find her own path without clouding things with my own dreams and projections. I want to see her flourish in whatever activity suits her best without pushing so much that she turns away from it. I want to help her see all the beauty that this world has to offer but not be blind to its realities. I want to be a good role model for her. I want to show her it's good to be strong. It's good to be silly. It's good to be your own person. Laugh as much as you can. Learn everything you can. Try as many new things as possible. I want her to know mama always has her back. I will always be her safety net.

I know that things don't always work out as perfectly as planned. I know there will be times when I'll feel like I've failed. But right now in this perfect moment before she arrives I can dream about being the best mom ever. It helps me to not be so scared.

We just have to hang some curtains in the nursery and install the carseat. Our bedroom is all set up for the first few weeks after her birth and my hospital bags are packed and ready to go. I'll probably scrub the house a thousand more times before she gets here and John needs to give the dogs their baths. Everyone will be spic and span for the queen's arrival. Or should I say princess because I'm the queen? :)

So, yes, this may be my last entry until after she arrives. Or with nervous anticipation I may write 10 more entries in the next week. Thank goodness I have John, my rock. He takes such good care of me. I have 110% confidence that he will be an amazing father . I want to take this moment to pat myself on the back for marrying so well. He was so cute the other day. I went up to his work and he paraded me around to his co-workers, so proud of me and our baby. It's just one of the million reasons why I'm so in love with him. I know, I know, vomit right? But I think this is the one of the times I'm allowed to freely gush about about the love I'm feeling. I love my doggies, I love John, I love our baby. I love my little family.

Ok, time for some milk and cookies. Good thing my mom bought 5 boxes of Girl Scout cookies for me :)

Thinking About Getting Off of Facebook and Other Lies I Tell Myself...

So I've been getting really annoyed with Facebook lately. I'm constantly complaining to John about all the things I see and read that make me so angry. Like raging I want to reach through my computer and slap people angry. He says this isn't healthy and the most logical solution is stay off of Facebook. I have considered this. It seems my life might be much improved by releasing myself from this addiction. But like all facebook-aholics, I say I could quit anytime, I just don't want to right now. Its a love/hate relationship.  I LOVE seeing people's pictures. Things my friends found interesting, pictures of their growing children, smiling faces, cute animals, etc. I love getting updates on important events in people's lives. But I HATTTEEEE ignorant people who clearly have never done research on the opinions they are spouting off about, people who judge other people's ways of life, people who can't spell the simplest of words, improper use of their/there/they're and your/you're. People who get on their soapbox and tell me how their religion is the right one, their political party is the best.  SOOOOOO many times I find myself commenting on particularly idiotic posts to tell these people how I feel, to tell them its people like them that make this world a worse place to live in. I type and type until eventually I realize it will be a fruitless effort. I delete everything I have just written, take a deep breath, and move on with my life. Then I think to myself maybe I'm doing the world an injustice by just sitting back and quietly watching without taking a stand. Maybe it would be healthier for me to be completely honest and speak my mind. I would definitely lose some friends in the process but I would probably be doing myself a favor. I think about this a lot. About being 100% totally and completely honest.  I am always so afraid of hurting people's feelings or making them feel bad in anyway. Seeing someone in pain hurts me. But now I think I am the one hurting. Not to be too dramatic, but all the overly polite bullshit is kind of killing my soul. 

So here I am, unsure of the next step to take. Do I get off of Facebook? Do I change 30+ years of being a nice person and start telling people like it is?  Maybe little by little I can start to be more honest, get on Facebook less and less, stand up for my opinion when I think it is warranted, let other things go that don't really matter. Maybe that will give me peace of mind. Maybe I should just go through my friend list and delete the repeat offenders. I've done that before but now when a friend of mine comments on someone else's status (that I'm not friends with) it shows up in my news feed. Its like I can't get away. Needless to say, aholes in real life and aholes on Facebook are probably the reason I am such an animal lover.  I'm going to post this blog entry on Facebook now and maybe it will make some people evaluate the things they put out into the world. Maybe it will make some people angry, like who does she think she is. Maybe I lose some friends. Maybe I gain some. Either way right after that I'm going to get off my computer, hug my dogs and enjoy the rest of my Sunday. And when John gets home from work he's going to get a big hug too.

Sincerely,

Tina



Puppies, Puppies, Puppies!

On Feb 23rd, 2012 we became fosters for Stray Rescue of St. Louis! A few years ago John and I met Randy Grim, the founder of Stray Rescue, at a holiday party of St. Louis Blues player Barret Jackman and his wife Jenny (my husband and I went to highschool with her, yay P South). We got to know Randy over several shot-ski's and discovered what a fun, sweet man he is and SO passionate about rescuing stray dogs. Immediately, I wanted to join the cause and help however I could, but it wouldn't be until 2012 that we finally moved out of our tiny condo and into a home large enough that we could finally foster!

Ps this is a shot-ski if you aren't familiar (that's me in the middle shot-skiing like a champ)

Anywho, back to fostering, we decided we had the time and space to help so we applied to become fosters and just a week later we were taking home our first two puppies from Stray Rescue's Pine Street shelter. We were so nervous and excited. Two puppies at the same time?? Plus Bauer and our two kitties Poopie and Charlie? Could we actually do this? Through Stray Rescue's foster group page on Facebook I could see that many people have even more dogs/cats/kids at home and were fostering successfully. What a comfort! If they could do it, surely we could too!

Enter Pika and Bilby!

What a fun, stressful, happy, time-consuming, heart-warming adventure it has been! Me, John and Bauer fell in love with the puppies instantly and we knew right away how hard eventually letting them go would be. But darn it if it doesn't feel good helping a cause that we believe in! I can sum up the experience like this: lots of baby gates, puppy breath, potty breaks, and puppy kisses. We had so much fun with these two guys that I'm so surprised more people don't foster. A lot of people say "I could never do that because I would become too attached and would want to keep the dog". I can't disagree with that but truly caring means finding a loving home for the dog and making room to help out another dog in need. There were many tears shed after each puppy was dropped off at their new homes but there were smiles through the tears as well! Pika and Bilby are both in great homes now and I get updates all the time about how they are doing.  It turned out to be such a wonderful experience that I hope this is the beginning of a long relationship with Stray Rescue as a foster parent. 

Stray Rescue is currently overloaded with dogs and a spring explosion of puppies and in desperate need of new fosters. If you, or anyone you know, would be interested please get in touch.  And if fostering is not for you think about adopting!! So many wonderful dogs and puppies just waiting for the right family to come along and rescue them.

http://www.strayrescue.org/ 

Hope everyone is having an amazing spring!!

Love,

Tina

Girl's Night

Tonight I am meeting the girls at old Corner Pub to celebrate Jackie's birthday! I can't wait, seriously, it has been so long since I've been out. I'm trying to think of the last time I went out for dinner/drinks and the only thing I can come up with is EdgeWild when Alessandra was in town. But wasn't that back in January?? Gasp. So needless to say I've been looking forward to this ALLLL week. I am notorious for cancelling plans but not today. One of the big bonuses of going out tonight is that Corner is now walking distance from my house, woohooo. I am one of those people that is super paranoid about having even one cocktail and driving which is why I usually have John pick me up and drop me off for girls nights. So bonus for him, he gets the night off from driving duty and can play video games to his heart's content. Win-win for everyone.

Time to get real now. I've been nesting with John in a honeymooner's bliss for over a year and its time come out of our little bubble. I'm also very self-entertained and independent which also leads to hermit like behavior. All of this adds up to me neglecting my friendships. This is a huge no-no. Like Tom Haverford would say, "This is one of my Oh-no-no's". Somebody call the Friend Protective Services on me, I've been found negligent and incompetent. BUT like I said I'm ready to come out of my cocoon and rejoin society. My friends are always there for me and they deserve the same in return. I'm so lucky to have found such great friends throughout my life and I mean to hold onto them for as long as I'm alive.

Ok time to get my work finished so I can shower, dress, and be on time tonight. Another one of my efforts to be a better friend, showing up ON TIME.

Happy Birthday Jackie!! Can't wait to celebrate with you tonight! Will you be getting a turkey burger, no bun, veggies on the side with a glass of red wine? :)

Cheers!
Tina

Moving on Saturday!

Only a few more days until we move into our first HOUSE.  Ahhh I can't wait!  This is what I look like on a daily basis:

Even packing hasn't been the chore I thought it would be.  Its been kind of fun going through all of our things.  All the packing and reminiscing has brought on a bit of nostalgic sadness, however.  This is the first home we have shared together. We moved into our condo on October 8th, 2008 and, aside from a couple of bad neighbors, we have loved every minute of our time here. I remember the first day we moved in like it was yesterday. He had been living in a house with a couple roommates and I was living at home. No judging! Its was a transitional temporary sitch! Anywho, neither of us had any sort privacy.  When we moved in that first day it was like a sigh of relief. Our own space! Every room was ours and ours alone.  We were a couple of crazy kids in love and playing house.  I'm happy to say we are still a couple of crazy kids in love only this time playing house for real!  Below I've shared some pictures of our time here.  From our first Christmas tree to getting Bauer. 

The day we moved in.

Our first Xmas tree!

Adopting Charlie Kitten <3

More than a few cocktail nights...

Our family B.B. (Before Bauer)

Lots of Skip-bo!

Good times with "The Head".

Getting engaged....

.....and then getting married!

Finally having a nice set of dishes.

John becoming a cat lover :)

Lots of birthday celebrations.

Lots of holidays.

Valentine's day is my 3rd fave holiday, so it gets a lot of attention.

Me and the ladies....and our boom box. Ah life before an ipod/iphone dock!

Getting Bauer xo

Watching him get bigger......

and bigger....

and bigger!

Watching the Cards win the 2011 World Series!  ....from the comfort of our condo.

Naps!

More naps!

Playing in the fields behind our place.

Our daily Tina and Bauer time, exploring Wildwood.

I've been Queen of the Castle for almost 4 years and what a pleasure it has been. I'm looking forward to my next term of service in our new house :)





Yes our years here in our tiny 2 bed/2 bath condo in Wildwood have been amazing but its time start the next chapter of our lives.  Could it be? Is it possible? Are we actually growing up?  Hahaha!  We'll see....cross your fingers. 

Love,

Tina

ps stay tuned, next blog will about our new house. Yay, hearts and bunnies and cartwheels and glitter!







I need to vent.

I can't wait to get out of this *&$^%^% neighborhood!! Just ran into a woman that asked if it was our dog howling all day while we are at work. Um no lady, I work from home and my car is broken right now so I'm literally with him all day, every day.  There is a dog around here causing a ruckus but everyone wants to blame Bauer. I think its Big Black Dog Syndrome. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black-dog_bias.   Generally this involves big, black dogs being the last to be adopted at shelters but I think we are facing this prejudice at home.  No one wants to blame the beagle or the schnauzer, its always the big, scary looking black dog. BS!!!! The loudest our dog gets is when he is snoring, because he sleeps alllllll day.  Literally he only gets up for me to take him on walks and potty breaks otherwise he is snoring on the couch. I know how much engery puppies have so I make it my business everyday to tire him out on our run/walks for the purpose of keeping him low key when we are indoors. 

I have heard shouting, kids screaming, babies crying, people falling down, vacuuming at midnight, yelling about sporting events, dogs yapping all the time and it has never occured to me to complain to anyone. In the 4 yrs we have been here, we have abided by the rules. No running appliances after 9 pm and no starting them up before 9 am. No playing loud music. We are quiet and respectful tenants. We have looked the other way when other people made lots of noise, because you know what, when living in such close quarters you'll hear things. All of this in respect for our neighbors! The same neighbors that want to blame our dog for any dog noises in the neighborhood. Did they ever think of the huge white american bulldog? What about the siberian husky?? Or the crazy lady that has 5 little shit box dogs that never shut the f up? Yap yap yap all the time.  *****Or to the lady who questioned me today......how about the dog who lives directly beneath you whose owners are NEVER home and who only ever let their dog out to go to the bathroom then put him right back in his crate?! Gee I wonder who is making the noise? *****   We have heard Bauer bark only on a couple occasions and they are deep, low barks. He doesn't howl and he doesn't yap. I'm so over having 10 neighbors living above me, beneath me, and beside me. I'm ready to just have 3 immediate neighbors, one to the left of us, one to the right, and one behind us. We are moving in about a week and I am so excited!!! I hate packing but after this encounter with the idiot neighbor I'll have the whole house packed by the time John gets home from work today. 


Ok deep breath, I feel better. I'm not going to proof this so there will be a ton of grammatical errors I'm sure.  Stay tuned for my next blog, a happy one about our NEW HOUSE!!!!