40 Weeks and No End in Sight

My little Super Girl is taking her super sweet time.

 

This is my life lately. Hahaha

 

Soooo at my 39 week check up last week I had not progressed any closer to going into labor. I was still only slightly one centimeter dilated. My cervix, thick and stubborn. I have my 40 week appointment tomorrow and I hope something has changed! People keep telling me that they had not started dilating at all and then wham suddenly they went into labor. The not knowing when its going to happen is killing me. I've also started having dreams about going into labor. This morning I woke up pushing, yikes. So here I am just waiting for the pot to boil. But I guess its ok, the longer she takes the closer we are to warmer weather and spring. Plus, if she waits until the 21st she'll be an Aries like me :)

In the meantime, I've been getting our house in order......

Our pretty home in Ballwin. (Can't wait for everything to be green like this again!)

 

The day we moved in I was 4 months pregnant and hauling boxes like a champ.

 

Things are clean and organized around here and her nursery is finished. We have everything I can possibly think of that we need for our little bambino. My mom and I have become regulars at every store in STL that sells baby things. We have received so many wonderful gifts from family and friends. Being well equipped certainly makes me feel more prepared and in control.

 

Baby stuff, everything is so cute!

 

A family member generously gave us this used Peg Perego car seat and base, but then.....

 

This weekend John's parents gave us our travel system with stroller, car seat and car seat base! So happy we have a second car seat now.  

 

Here is a look at Baby Feager's room:

 

 

 

 

Hopefully she likes lavender.

 

Its all in the details....

 

I've had this mini set of Peter Rabbit books since I was a little girl, so excited to give them to MY little girl.

 

 

 

Tiny, little shoes. I could just die.

 

Our bedroom set up, bassinet on my side of the bed. We will also be bringing down the changing table and bringing in our rocker.

 



Between the bassinet, the crib, the bouncy seat, the swing, and the cradle rocker, we should be able to find something that will help her sleep soundly. Wishful thinking? It will probably be our arms and she will be a ticking time bomb waiting to go off at the slightest noise and movement. Hopefully she quickly gets used to the dogs barking. More wishful thinking.

 

Ok I guess that's it for now. I'm crossing my fingers that I get another good check up tomorrow. Now its about time to make John some dinner and then watch Walking Dead from last night. Its our favorite show and should be yours as well. 

Our Baby

I wanted to make a new blog entry, one last blog entry before everything changes completely for the rest of my life. Our baby is due in just a couple weeks.

Our baby.

Still getting used to saying that. Every time I say it, type it, hear it, think it, I'm overcome with happiness. I smile. Our baby. Our little baby girl.

As I'm typing this I feel her hiccuping. She does this a couple times a day.  I've read that this is normal and a good sign of health and development. I've also read that it can mean she will have reflux issues. Google is my best friend and worst enemy these days. My doctor told me to stay off of Google but late at night when the baby kicks me awake I find myself reaching for my phone and looking up all the things that make me paranoid.

I realize this is a waste of my time so I'll then put down my phone and simply enjoy feeling her moving around inside of me. I have really loved these moments. She is my little buddy, my constant companion, who enjoys meal times as much as I do and loves taking little naps with me as well. We've got a good schedule going right now. Maybe it will stay this way after she's born? All peaceful and serene. Mother Earth and her nature baby.  Haha, I love that I can be this delusional before reality comes crashing in with middle of the night feedings, exploding diapers, and colic.

So I'm 39 weeks now.....

Yay, puffy pregnant face!

My doctor says she will let me go to 41 weeks before inducing. I'd prefer to go into labor naturally, but my mom had to be induced with me as well, so I guess it just might be in the cards for me. To be honest getting up out of chairs is getting harder and I've started waddling a bit.

Ready to pop.

Shaving my legs and painting my toenails is also starting to get more difficult. By 41 weeks I can only imagine I'll be having John do these things for me. Overall though I feel really good. Doc says my weight gain has been great and my blood pressure is great as well (knock on wood). Lots of amniotic fluid, normal growth for baby, good strong heart. That's all I can ask for. Tomorrow I have my 39 week check up, hopefully things are still going well and maybe I've even progressed some. Last week she said I was dilated a slight one. My mom is convinced I'm going to have her this weekend, but I think she's going to have to be evicted by my OB. We shall see.

I'm so excited to meet her. I'm also scared. Will I be a good mother? I'm not scared of childbirth. I'm not scared about lack of sleep or my ability to feed and care for her. I'm scared about helping this little human grow to her furthest potential. I want to nurture her and guide her and help her find her own path without clouding things with my own dreams and projections. I want to see her flourish in whatever activity suits her best without pushing so much that she turns away from it. I want to help her see all the beauty that this world has to offer but not be blind to its realities. I want to be a good role model for her. I want to show her it's good to be strong. It's good to be silly. It's good to be your own person. Laugh as much as you can. Learn everything you can. Try as many new things as possible. I want her to know mama always has her back. I will always be her safety net.

I know that things don't always work out as perfectly as planned. I know there will be times when I'll feel like I've failed. But right now in this perfect moment before she arrives I can dream about being the best mom ever. It helps me to not be so scared.

We just have to hang some curtains in the nursery and install the carseat. Our bedroom is all set up for the first few weeks after her birth and my hospital bags are packed and ready to go. I'll probably scrub the house a thousand more times before she gets here and John needs to give the dogs their baths. Everyone will be spic and span for the queen's arrival. Or should I say princess because I'm the queen? :)

So, yes, this may be my last entry until after she arrives. Or with nervous anticipation I may write 10 more entries in the next week. Thank goodness I have John, my rock. He takes such good care of me. I have 110% confidence that he will be an amazing father . I want to take this moment to pat myself on the back for marrying so well. He was so cute the other day. I went up to his work and he paraded me around to his co-workers, so proud of me and our baby. It's just one of the million reasons why I'm so in love with him. I know, I know, vomit right? But I think this is the one of the times I'm allowed to freely gush about about the love I'm feeling. I love my doggies, I love John, I love our baby. I love my little family.

Ok, time for some milk and cookies. Good thing my mom bought 5 boxes of Girl Scout cookies for me :)