Sophia vs. Mia

Time to do some baby comparisons! Mia is 8 months old (say what??) so I figured it was time to see how how the babies stack up against each other. Baby Sophia vs. Baby Mia. And go!

PREGNANCY:

Baby Sophia: Magical Unicorn Baby that appeared out of nowhere like, well, magic. But a painful, scary magic with an emergency c-section.

Surprise baby!

Baby Mia: Nine long, sleepless months waiting waiting waiting for her arrival like a pot of water I was begging to boil. Then when she finally arrived it was pain-free and worry-free and also like magic.

Come on Mia get here already!

HAIR:

Baby Sophia: Hair, so much hair. Dark, thick hair that never fell out and continues to grow like Rapunzel except brown and wavy.

She used to love when I ran my fingers through her hair

Baby Mia: Some hair, but very fluffy and wispy, like if the wind blows too hard it might all float away.

Make a wish on my dandelion hair

SIZE:

Baby Sophia: Big baby girl, very solid. Not a lot of baby rolls but always off the doctor's percentile charts.

8 lbs 2 oz 21 inches

Baby Mia: Born slightly longer and heavier than her big sis. Now at 8 months she is a total chunkaroo. So much cuddly chunk-chunk. My mom gets mad when I lovingly refer to Mia as "Pork Chop".

8 lbs 11 oz 21.25 inches

PERSONALITY:

Baby Sophia:  Happy, sweet baby girl except around 1 or 2 months old when there were daily bouts of inconsolable crying. John and learned a lot about parenting, our level of patience and the strength of our marriage during that time. Sophia also did not like most strangers especially men.

I hate everything.

Baby Mia: She is truly Mia JOY.  Her smile comes easily and instantly. Everyone is a friend in the making. But more than Sophia she needs and DEMANDS more attention. All she wants is to gaze into your eyes and snuggle. But don't look away, not for a second, or she will lose her sh*t. And don't you even dare set her down on the floor so you can do dishes. You better sit down with her and play or pick her right back up dammit.

Our adorable little dictator.

SLEEP:

Baby Sophia: Magical unicorn baby strikes again with awesome sleep habits. We followed her groove and she set her times. 2 naps a day and 6:30 pm bed time.

Sleeping angel

Baby Mia: She'll nap if you rock her/feed her/let her fuss for a few minutes. She goes down for bed more easily but much later than Sophia did as a baby. Which is probably Sophia's fault. Mia is a light sleeper and Sophia is a loud talker/walker. Seriously, she walks as heavy footed as a grown man.

Sleeping through a shopping trip to Target. A rare occurrence.

ABILITIES:

Baby Sophia:  Sophia has an inner motor that never stops! She did everything early. Rolled, sat up, crawled, walked. We encouraged this like two idiots. But we were, and still are, so proud. Sophia was born a force to be reckoned with and continues to amaze us every day with her strength. 

Why am I taking pictures and not making her sit back down?? Too soon!

Baby Mia: Our lovable, huggable Mia, she takes her time a bit more. Still hitting milestones a touch early but not quite as early as big sis. And we are just fine with that! Take your time baby girl!

She is one in a melon.

OVERALL:

Its a tie! Both babies are equally amazing. I think Sophia takes after John and I think Mia takes after me. When Mia was born I looked into her eyes and was like "Oh, there you are. I know you." Its hard to put into words. A warm glow of love and peace descended upon me. It was much different when Sophia was born. With her it was like a bright, shocking, explosion of light filled with so much sparkly love. Like looking at the sun and then looking away and you still see little suns floating in your vision. I saw Sophia every where (still do). So we have our energizer bunny Sophia who burst onto the scene running. Born knowing. And we have our cuddly, funny Mimi who has a twinkle in her eye and I think might just be a mini Dotsie. (For those that don't know, Dotsie is my yia yia who passed away in 2006. She was warm and lovely and so so funny. She could make anyone laugh and everyone felt at home when they came to her house. I miss her so much, especially her pastitsio and chocolate sheet cake.)

My babies. Sophia on the left and Mia on the right. 

Pregnancy Questionaire

How far along? 28 weeks, yay third trimester! We are in the home stretch. This pretty much sums things up: 

How big is baby? Haven't had an ultrasound in a month or so but I would guess she's about 2 lbs

Total weight gain/loss:  20 lbs! Eek!

Maternity clothes? Yes. Ruched side maternity shirts and leggings for days.

Sleep: Not the best. I wake up every couple hours, sometimes to use the bathroom, sometimes because I'm uncomfortable, sometimes because I'm hungry. Sometimes to check on sweet Sophia who lately has been waking up with bad dreams. Pregnancy insomnia is a real thing. Thank goodness for Netflix. 

Best moment this week:  
Pregnancy Related: Getting a new pack n play! We used Tya and Ava's old pack n play with Sophia and decided it was time for an update. This model has a changing station and portable bassinet. Sophia loves it too and has already claimed it as her own. Let the sibling rivalry begin. 

Non-pregnancy Related: Sophia wanting to be carried more than usual. She is a VERY independent little girl so wanting to be held by mama is pretty rare and awesome. She says "Mama, carry you." (she's a wee bit confused on her pronouns but we're working on it)

Movement: All the time! Don't need to worry about kick counts as she is proving to be just as active as her big sister. This doesn't bode well for my wish of second kid being calmer than our first. 

Food cravings:  I've been obsessing over Nancy's petite quiche lately. But I did that before being pregnant as well so not sure if it counts as a craving.

Food Aversions: My beloved protein shakes and Quest bars seem to be the only thing I've lost a taste for in this pregnancy.

not anymore :(

Gender: It's a girl! I still can't believe how lucky I am that I get two girls. I always dreamed of having a daughter and now I get two of them. Sometimes I just feel so much love and happiness that my heart wants to explode.  Its a unicorn farting rainbows kind of happy. 

Labor Signs:  None. But possible braxton hicks here and there. Nothing a little moving around and drinking more water can't cure though. 

Pregnancy Symptoms:  I might possibly be just  a tiny bit more emotional than usual. I really don't like crying in front of people, even John. The other day I cried in front of him while watching a Disney short film called Feast and then again in front of our parents when I found out a best friend is pregnant with a baby girl.  (Side note: I'm working on  being able to show emotional pain or admit when I'm in physical pain. I want my girls to know its ok to be hurt and ask for help if you need it. ) 

Also, it really makes me fume when I'm already irritated and someone (ahem, John) tells me to calm down. If I wasn't spoiling for a fight before I certainly am now. Yay hormones! Love you Schmoops.

Belly Button in or out? In

What I miss:  Cocktails. Maybe wine. Or a nice, cold beer. Or all three. Maybe a salty margarita too while we're at it. Also, I REALLY miss Body Combat. I haven't been in about a month. I started to get scared about bouncing baby too much. I feel so anchored.

What I am looking forward to: Dying to find out if she is going to have a full head of hair like Sophia. John was born with a frock of thick hair but I was more or less bald until at least a year old. I have a feeling she's going to be a baldy but I'd love another little baby girl with a toupee's worth of hair. Baby pigtails at 3 months old? Yes, please! 

Upcoming appointments/events:  I'm thinking about changing doctors. There is a particular doctor I'd love to have and I'll be calling him this week to see if he is taking new patients. Fingers crossed!

Milestones: THIRD TRIMESTER. Its getting real. And I still have so much to do in preparation. I have lists of lists. 

It's Been Awhile

I felt the need to write (type) down some of my thoughts and realized its been way over a year since I last posted on my blog. My previous entry was from February 2014 and I was gearing up to get back in shape. Shortly thereafter, thanks to my dear friend Jackie (Hi Jax!), I joined a 100 Day workout challenge and loved it so much I'm still doing them. The group is run by Heather Amato who is a Gold's group fitness instructor. It goes without saying she is an incredible motivator. I switched gyms from Club Fitness to Gold's where I feel like I really found my "gym home".  I have always been a class junkie, my first obsession being Turbo Kickboxing at 24 hour Fitness circa 2004. And now my favorites include: Body Combat, Body Pump, and Body Jam. Through calorie counting, following my macros and doing all my favorite classes at the gym I lost over 40 lbs. I get to the gym about 4/5 days a week and on my "off" days I usually go on walks with Sophia.

On May 26, 2015 we found out I was pregnant (yay!!!) so my fitness goals have shifted to more of a maintain situation versus weight loss. This is actually incredibly difficult for me. I thrive on pushing myself. I love the feeling of getting stronger, jumping higher, going faster, lifting heavier. So to dial things down kind of bums me out but I always remind myself to do what's best for baby. I'm almost 5 months pregnant and really starting to show! I didn't get a nice, big bump with Sophia until 7.5-8 months along. I'm thinking weaker abdominal muscles are to thanks for showing earlier this time. Boo. Hopefully, I keep my weight gain in check and will be able to bounce back fairly quickly after baby arrives. 

My due date is anywhere from Jan 28 to Feb 2. I'm actually kind of hoping for a February baby because then we will have a February (baby #2), March (Sophia), April (me), and May (John) in our family. I'm crossing my fingers for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) this go around. I would like the quickest and least painful recovery possible. Who doesn't? If I thought things were difficult post c-section with Sophia I can't imagine what it would be like with an infant AND a toddler. But ultimately I will do whatever is best for baby. I had to be induced with Sophia and I've read that being induced will often end up with an emergency c-section so my goal is to stay as fit and healthy as possible and have labor start naturally on its own. I hope its not wishful thinking. Speaking of wishful thinking, I've also been contemplating going drug free with this birth. But if in a few months I share the birth story and there is mention of an epidural don't hold me to it. 

In other news, Sophia is just as spirited and feisty as ever. My little independent comedian. She is deep in the throes of the terrible two's which may also be overlapping with a head start on the threenager phase. Its a wonderful storm of one second my heart absolutely melting because she is so sweet and amazing to the next second John and I looking at each other like who is this crazed little beast? I'm living in a constant state of questioning my parenting and always wondering if I'm not doing enough or maybe doing too much. My biggest fear is she will end up in therapy as an adult because I didn't know what the hell I was doing. She is so smart and clever. And I'm constantly amazed at her sense of humor. She is very outspoken and very opinionated on all topics from what she wants to wear that day to what WE should wear that day. "No banana shirt, Dada, wear chicken shirt peeeaassee" and "Mama no pants, wear pretty dress". She is still very tall for her age and people are always assuming she is older than she is. Which is kind of funny sometimes, but other times (when better behavior is expected) I'm like cut her some slack she's not even two and half. Lately she has been flip flopping on who is her favorite parent. Pitting us against each other to win her affections. Clever, see? I was the favorite for 2+ years, then out of nowhere Daddy became the favorite. What?? This fun time included not wanting to hold my hand and only letting Dada put her down for bed. This left me in tears on a couple of occasions. Having your sweet little girl push you away while saying "NO Mama, go on!" is pretty heart breaking. Especially being hormonal and pregnant and also because bed time is one of my favorite times of day. Its a time of cuddles, hugs, kisses, and snuggles (and the sweet relief from parenting duty). I'm happy to report this week I'm the favorite once again!!

More current Sophia facts:
Age: Almost 2.5!
Weight: 38.4 lbs
Height: 40.5 inches
Not potty trained.
Giggles and gives hi-fives when she farts.
Prefers to be naked. She calls this Nakey Baby.
Still sleeps in her crib and we have no plans to move her into a bed until she wants to.
Her favorite place is the zoo.
2nd favorite is the library.
Her most requested activity is "Water Park at Home". This is what she calls playing in her baby pool.
2nd most requested activity: going to a party with hot dogs and fireworks. Apparently, Fourth of July made quite an impression on her.
She hates wearing dresses and only likes to wear very soft and broken-in (raggedy) t-shirts and shorts. I blame John for this as it is his style as well.
She hates to have her hair brushed and her face washed. So a lot of the time she looks like a tiny homeless person terrorizing Ballwin. Recently, we have gotten over the face washing hatred if I talk gently and wipe her face VERY softly. Slowly, I am gaining trust with the native.
Her favorite breakfast: NONE. Getting her to eat in the morning is quite a challenge. Another mark in the Just-Like-Daddy column.
Favorite lunch: cheese quesadilla and black beans from Qdoba
Favorite dinner: chicken, brown rice and broccoli
Favorite fruits: apples, strawberries and blueberries
Favorite dessert: ICE CREAM
Favorite color: pink (this answer is very surprising considering she's a little tomboy that prefers cars to princesses)
Favorite movies: Monsters Inc, Lego Movie, Up, Ice Age
She still uses a binky at night and sometimes in the car. She has a baby blanket she calls nigh-nigh that we take everywhere with us although it stays in the car.
Favorite songs: Walk by Foo Fighters, Happy by Pharrell and the Miss Piggy/Celine Dion collaboration from the Muppets sequel. Sophia is a sucker for a nice ballad.
Talking in full sentences. When asked a question she will say "hmm" and then give a thoughtful answer. Understands the concepts of today, tomorrow, later, soon, and maybe. Knows a few days of the week. Knows shapes, colors and can count. Still trying to get her to sing the ABC's. She likes to sing Let it Go and Happy Birthday. She likes for me to sing the Meatball Song and The Batman version of Jingle Bells.
Pats my tummy and says Hi Baby Sister.

Overall, tantrums included, it has been an amazing summer. Swimming at the pool, zoo trips, science center, her first ever movie theater experience, lots of concerts at the park and fun festivals. And the icing on the cake is being pregnant. At our 16 week ultrasound they could not tell if it was boy or girl, so we will find out the gender from the Panorama blood test I took. Hopefully we find out this week! I'm still quite convinced its a girl, I even have a girl name picked out. It will be a HUGE surprise if we find out we're having a boy.

UPDATE: WE FOUND OUT ITS A GIRL!!!!!

Next posts will include a more in depth look at gym life, work, home, babies and marriage. There's a lot to catch up on.  Below are some pictures from our summer.

Instead of annoying everyone with my gym check-ins.......

I'll blog about them! So, after a few years of being out of shape plus a few stubborn baby pounds, I've decided to get serious (again) about getting fit. My glory days seem so long ago. From 2004-2007 I was in the best shape of my life. Where and how did it all go wrong? It was a slow process, a few lbs here a few lbs there, until they all added up to an unfit Tina. I thrive on feeling strong. I love running as fast as I possibly can. I have pretty good self esteem so I've never thought of myself as unattractive but I know I can look (and feel!) so much better. The last time I got excited about getting back in shape was summer of 2012. I lost a few lbs and then, SURPRISE, got pregnant. The story of me getting pregnant deserves its own blog. One day I will tell that story....

So yes, I started getting healthy again and was derailed by sweet Sophia. When she was a couple months old I started doing the stroller/walking thing. Then I began jogging with her. Then it got so hot I couldn't take her out of the house. Nevermind the dogs, they just went out to use the bathroom and then wanted right back in! Then I got lazy. I ate my way through the holidays and here we are now. I started back in my old gym last week (Planet Fitness) and I'm in the process of changing to a new gym with daycare (Club Fitness). So far things are going well! Sophia had her second day of gym day care today and she was excited to see her new friends again. If I had my choice I would be back at my old fave 24 Hour Fitness, but CF's prices are so much better and I'm a girl on a budget. Aside from the working out aspect, I'm also trying to be healthier in general. Nothing crazy. Just reducing the amount of refined sugars and carbs, eating more green leafy things, green tea instead of coffee, cutting out diet soda completely. Ugh that has been the worst. Hello, my name is Christina and I'm addicted to diet soda. I have allowed myself one very ice filled glass of regular soda a day. Some days I don't have any. Its a weaning process. I still get occasional headaches.

I want fast results because I'm impatient and impulsive but I know if I slow down and try to do things sensibly I will be able to stick with this for the long haul. Like the rest of my life. Which is a thing I think about all the time now. I want to live as long as I possibly can for Sophia. I want John to live as long as possible too. I lost my dad when he was just 42 years old. I was about 18/19 at the time. I never want Sophia to go through that. I want to be a really old lady and have Sophia be a regular old lady before we have to say good bye. So a healthy wind has blown through our house. I even have John cutting down on his vices and drinking kale smoothies. Hey, its a start.

And to finish this blog entry I will include a couple old pictures of myself that I look at for inspiration:

I have a lot more pictures but they are all on Myspace and I'm afraid to go back there.


Ok. Its quitting time at work and I have a handsome husband waiting for me at home. Stay tuned for progress reports. Maybe one day I'll even be brave enough to share my actual weight. Yikes!

Hello 2014!

I love this time of year. We got through the holidays and we are at the half way mark to spring. The year is fresh and new, full of promise and possibility. It is also a time of reflection. 2013 is definitely one for the books! I began the year unemployed and pregnant. Yowsa. To say we were stressed out is putting it lightly. But then voila, baby is born and life is better than we could have ever hoped or dreamed. She really is like magic, sprinkling happy little baby dust over everything and everyone. I got a new job a couple months after Sophia was born and although I cried every day leaving her for quite some time, I am so grateful for my job! I love the people I work with and its so nice to feel appreciated for a job well done. We don't have to be as stressed about money and its part time which means I still get tons of Sophia time.

I really cannot think of a better situation. Well, OK, being ridiculously rich and neither John or myself ever having to work again would be slightly better. Sayings like, "be careful what you wish for" and "the grass is always greener" come to my mind when I get to thinking that money equals happiness. I've seen it ruin people. I've seen it make good people turn ugly inside.

ANYWAY, I'm very happy with our current money/work situation. And I'm deliriously, over the moon, shit myself with excitement, happy about my baby girl. Not a day goes by that John and I don't mention how much we love our little family. I'm not saying our lives are perfect, we have ups and downs, but we have each other and that's all that ever matters. So yes, 2013 was a year of big surprises and lots of love and joy. I'm so excited to see what 2014 will bring! Knowing us, there will definitely be a few curve balls. 

In Sophia news, she is doing wonderfully! As of this post, she is about 9 1/2 months old. She has started walking! We are so proud of her. She was cruising on the coffee table and decided to be brave and walk over to me. I was sitting about 5/6 steps from her. She has started doing this regularly and sometimes her momentum gets the best of her and she runs and falls into my arms. Its so cute! 

MORE BABY UPDATES:

• We have started giving her a variety of real foods, her favorite is scrambled eggs. She'll eat anything by the fistful. Which reminds me, 2013 also brought our first gagging/choking experience. Damn you, little puffs.
• She goes to bed around 6:30 pm and sleeps through the night until 6:30 am. What a blessing that has been! She slept through the night (waking only a couple times to eat and then right back out) until she started teething and then she was up constantly. We co-slept for pretty much months 6 through 8. And then BAM she was ready to go back in her crib and now sleeps the whole night away. No more middle of the night feedings. No more waking up, standing up, holding onto the edge of her crib and crying for us to come get her. Just peaceful sleep. I pray this continues until she's 30. 
• She says Mama, Dada, Yiayia (Greek for grandmother pronounced yah-yah), and dogs/dotes.
• She knows lots of other words: diaper, bath, more, elmo, kitty, night-night, sippy, baba, binkie etc. If I say "Do you need a new diaper?" she will touch her hip or look at the changing table. When I say cold she makes a surprised face, shakes her body and goes whoaa.   
• She will shake her head "no", but doesn't nod "yes", yet. 
• She can hi-five and clap, although the clap is one hand on top of the other instead of both palms together
• She can wave hello. And does this often to strangers when we are out to dinner or in line at the grocery store.
• She does the same movement when I say either dance or bounce.
• She is a nightmare to change, always rolling over and trying to stand up and pat the wall. I keep a basket of toys on the changing table and I have 3 go-to songs to sing that keep her laying still. Inevitably, none of these tricks work when she has pooped. 
• She hugs me most tightly when I go in to get her after a nap or in the morning. It is, hands down, the absolute best feeling in the world. 
• She cries when we won't let her have something that she simply cannot live without. Like Christmas ornaments. 
• She has 4 teeth on top and 3 on bottom.
• She doesn't give kisses on her own yet, but if we ask for a kiss she will open her mouth and bring it to ours. Then she giggles when I make the pucker sound.
• She enjoys pinching the skin on our necks and chests until we grimace in pain. We have started teaching her about not hurting others. 
• She likes giving the dogs bits of her food which has turned the dogs into big time beggars.  But we love that she wants to share with her buddies. 
• She loves drinking out of the faucet when getting her baths.
• When telling us something important she gestures passionately and makes dramatic faces while saying "doh, doh, doh" at different speeds and volume levels. 
• Her favorite thing to do is throw things out of her crib, pack n play, or high chair, just to see who gets to them first, Mommy and Daddy or the doggies. 
• She makes the sweetest sound when giving hugs. Its like a combo of aww and mmm.
• John gets the biggest laughs out of her no matter how hard I try. 
• But its in my arms she wants to be when she's tired or has a boo boo that needs to be kissed.
• Nobody, not even Mama or Dada, is as awesome as Elmo.

Sophia's Birth Story

Hello everyone! Finally getting around to making a post about our sweet baby girl's arrival. I want to make sure I get down all the details before too much time passes and they start to fade from my memory. So here goes.......

Warning: Its a long one.

Tuesday March 19th 2013

(Enter the Law and Order duh duh sound)

I went in to St. Luke's for my 40 week appointment to find out that my blood pressure had gone up since the week before and that I was retaining a ton of fluid. I felt no different than before but they were concerned and since I was 40 weeks along they decided to have me admitted right then and there for an induction. It wasn't really sinking in. I asked my OB, Dr. Janet Matuszek, "Wait, so you mean I'm not leaving here and the next time I walk into my house it will be with my baby??" She replied, "YEP!" I just couldn't believe it!  I mean I knew I could have the baby at any point yet I still wasn't prepared for the moment to finally arrive. Plus, I didn't have my hospital bag with me. Plus, we hadn't made arrangements for who was going to look after the dogs while we were at the hospital. But here we are, around 3:00 pm that Tuesday afternoon getting admitted to Labor and Delivery of St. Luke's. They got me all nice and tucked into my room, the same room they explained that would be my birthing room as well. Weird! I was hooked up, my heart rate being monitored as well as the baby's. John went home to collect my things and take care of our doggies. I'm still sad that I didn't get to have a last moment with them before leaving to have their new little sister. Life does not care what plans we make or how we envision things. Life has a plan all its own.


Fast forward to that evening, John has returned and our families have arrived as well. My mom cries a lot. Lots of hugs and "I can't believe its time!" comments. At some point that night they administer the drugs to get the ball rolling. I begin to feel cramping but as I have never had a contraction before I wasn't sure if that's what I was feeling. They kept asking me how I was feeling and I was all like, "OK I guess!" I have no clue what's going on but it doesn't hurt too bad. I had even Googled what contractions feel like and for every woman that has had a baby, there are that many descriptions for what it feels like. Time goes on, they gave me something to help me sleep (didn't really work). But at that point the families left to go home for the night and John went home to the dogs. It makes me a little sad that I spent every night alone in the hospital but it was also a very special gift as well. (More on that later.)

Wednesday March 20th 2013

Good morning! Things are progressing VERY slowly for me. I've barely dilated. Boo! By that afternoon the cramping, as I called it, has become very intense. I held onto the side rail of the bed every time a contraction rolled through me. I picked a spot and focused on it hard. They kept coming quicker and quicker, each time more intense. But still no progression! At this point I'm barely speaking and just holding on for dear life to that bed rail.

See?

At some point my mom can't take seeing me in pain anymore and says its time for some drugs. Very Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment.

They bring in the drug doc to give me an epidural and during that lovely procedure as I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, barely breathing from the pain, and squeezing John's hands until they are almost broken, my water breaks. Ew weird. They have me lay down so my nurse can examine me and help expel more of the fluid, not fun!  Through all this and the endless contractions my little baby's heart rate became erratic. My OB was at a different hospital at the moment so I was tended to by this wonderfully sweet doctor who's name I can't quite recall. I want to say Dr. Penetta but I have no idea how to spell it! (If anyone knows the doctor that I'm speaking of please let me know!) She tells me very calmly, in her endearing accent, that the baby isn't doing well and we need to get her out immediately.

The conversation went like this:

Dr. Penetta: Baby no happy. She no like contractions. We take her out now, OK? OK.
I nod my head.

She explains to me in the nicest way possible that they are worried for the baby and are now going to do an emergency c-section. I remain calm as well, although internally I was freaking the eff out. I don't care what they have to do to me, just make sure my baby is OK!

So everyone around me is scrambling now and shouting different code this and code that. My mom is a mess at this point, understandably so, as I am HER baby. But at some point she is asked to leave. They have John get scrubbed up and ready to join me in the OR. I remember feeling comforted by the fact that one of the nurses told John, "Don't forget the camera Daddy, you'll want to get some pics!" If she is assuming my baby will be just fine and dandy for a photo shoot then everything is going to be OK. The families kiss me and wish me good luck. My mom is hanging on by a thread.

I'm wheeled into the OR and transferred to the surgery table, my arms strapped down like I'm on a cross. They give me more drugs to numb me completely from my chest down. It was like a nightmare being trapped in my own body. I can't stop shaking from all the drugs in my system but keep assuring John that I feel fine, that I'm not cold. He's holding my hand and I can barely see his face due to the hat and mask but looking into his eyes comforts me. He tells me later that he didn't look over at the other side of the sheet but that so much blood was running off the table it ended up splattering on his shoes. Yuck! There is still a small dot of my blood on those shoes. So I can feel them cutting and tugging in a distant numbed way, and before I knew what was happening, they started cheering, "She's here!"

Welcome sweet baby Sophia!

8 lbs 2 oz 21 inches long

Born at 5:12 pm on March 20th 2013

The next few minutes are a blur but I see them take her to a corner in the room and then I hear it...her first cry. Oh my goodness. I'm tearing up while typing this now. It was the best moment of my life, hands down. I remember saying, "Omg her cry is so tiny and cute." A nurse then informed me I wouldn't always feel that way. Ha ha nurse, hilarious. So I'm still strapped down while they put me back together and John has left to go to that corner to cut the cord. Or cut what was left of it, as it had already been officially cut when they got her out. I can't see anyone or anything from my angle but all I hear is, "She's perfect!" and "Look at all that hair!" While they weigh and measure her, John comes over to kiss me and tell me through a throaty cry that she IS perfect. She is healthy, 10 fingers, 10 toes, beautiful, with lots of dark hair. I had been crying ever since hearing her cry and now after the report from John crying even harder. What feels like a century later (probably 5 mins) they FINALLY bring her to me! 

Another best moment of my life. There are so many lately! I get to touch her beautiful little face, to kiss her chubby little cheeks. I'm all set to go now, so they wrap her up and put her in my arms. Third best moment of my life. My baby girl is so perfect, so healthy, and now safely in my arms. I could not have been any happier.

Side Notes: The entire process of finding out I was going to have an emergency c-section to having the surgery complete and my baby in my arms took about 20 minutes tops. It was that quick. At some point my OB had finally arrived and was there to close me up but I owe everything to Dr. Penetta. (Even though she wasn't my OB she came to our room several times a day to say hi to me and Sophia and to see how we were doing. She said Sophia reminded her very much of her granddaughter who is also named Sophia) Also, at some point while in the OR the nurses played a joke on my mom saying it was twins. Yikes! My mom was not in the right frame of mind for pranks. I'm glad they were all having a good time though.

So baby and I are wheeled out of the OR and whizzed past our waiting families. They all look so relieved, so many happy tears replacing the scared ones. We get moved into the recovery room where they go over breast feeding with me and we give it our first go. A few tries of finding the right position and she latched! Wow, I'm really doing it, I'm a mom! They examine her further, do the foot prints, families come in, pictures are taken. Its all such a happy blur.

Sophia with nurse Emily. She was absolutely fantastic in every possible way. I have no doubt things wouldn't have gone as smoothly without her. She even sent us a card in the mail a week after Sophia was born. 

Seriously she is the happiest baby, even from day one. Eyes open, hands waving hello!

The only picture John and I had taken together while at the hospital. I look pretty horrendous, but happy!

At this point I still can't move my legs, I'm very sleepy, and a little sick to my stomach. They assured me it was all normal and would quickly pass after some rest. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to take my eyes off of my angel. I just wanted to keep her wrapped up in my arms forever. Fatigue eventually won and they took her to the nursery so I could sleep a little. A bit later they bring her back in for another feeding and I get my snuggle time again, yay! Best way ever to be woken up. The families say their good nights and sadly Daddy does too because our other babies needed to be taken care of as well.

And this is the part that I mentioned earlier....

I'm a little sad that John had to leave every night and a couple times throughout the day. But secretly, I LOVED all the alone time with Sophia.

All mine. 

Every feeding, her first fussy cries in the middle of the night, I got to take care of all by myself. I didn't need anyone's help. No mother, no mother-in-law, no sister or brother, not even Daddy. Just me and Sophia. I learned very quickly how to soothe my little girl all on my own. I remember the second night she was particularly fussy (she needed to poop!) and John had to go home to Bella and Bauer and I'm standing there holding a crying Sophia.  Neither of us wanted him to go in that moment. Later that night, baby sleeping peacefully, I text him a pic of her and called myself The Baby Whisperer.  I'm very proud of myself and Sophia for doing so well together right from the start.

Side Note:  Recovering from a c-section hurts like a b*tch. But another thing I'm proud of is that I never took prescription meds for the pain. Just some over the counter ibu's. If I may brag for a moment (too late), even the nurses were impressed with my pain tolerance and strength through everything. I even healed quickly. OK end brag. More brags on Sophia to come though! Haha.

Saturday March 23rd 2013

Its finally time to go home! From being induced Tuesday to having baby on Wednesday to a Saturday morning release. We could have stayed until Sunday but baby and I were doing well and there was a big snow storm on its way. I couldn't wait to get home. Those first few days at home were some of the best of my life. It snowed like crazy and I was all snuggled up at home with Sophia, John, Bella, Bauer and Poopie. My whole family all together. Having John off of work for a week was so amazing. It was seriously like a baby vacation. We pretty much never left our bedroom. Bassinet by our bed, changing table and swing nearby. John always watched over me and Sophia as we took our frequent post-feeding naps. No one ever told me how sleepy breast feeding makes you! We watched a ton of movies on Netflix and ate lots of delicious meals and always cookies and milk for dessert. John was my nurse and took very good care of my recovery as well. He also made sure I stayed hydrated to help with the breast feeding. Every middle of the night feeding he woke up too and rubbed my back as I fed little Sophia. I tell John all the time how much I wish we were wealthy enough that neither of us had to work so every day of our lives could be just like those days.

So there it is. Sophia Isla Feager's birth story. She turns 7 months old tomorrow! She's growing and learning everyday. And that hair, it keeps growing too! I'll post more on current baby happenings in another post tomorrow. This one is just for her arrival. Into this world, into my arms, into our lives.